The first in the series

On the fore head. Right below the hairline. About 2 cm long.

Venky chose perfect timing. It was a birght, sunny Saturday morning. Vibhu left for his cousin's marriage in Jaipur. Venky and I had our breakfast and Venky played around with his football as I sipped my coffee. Our driver returned after dropping Vibhu to the airport and I decided to dismiss him for the day as I did not have any plans to go out. I was looking forward to a lazy Saturday with the TV remote all to myself :-).

I called up the bride to wish her on the wedding day. The moment I heard "Hello" from the other end I heard Venky give a loud wail from outside. I rushed out and saw his hand covered in blood. Then I saw further and saw his head covered in blood. The blood was running down in a stream down his ear. I panicked. I called out to my maid to get some ice. Then I asked her to find some cotton. Both of us could not remember where it was. My Tshirt and pyjamas were already covered in Venky's blood. I started getting desparate, I had heard somewhere that if the child loses a lot of blood he may go into to coma ( Probably it was the bollywood movie "Bhoothnath". I don't know if the information imparted in the movie was correct, but that is all I could remember at that point of time)

Our next door  neighbours who saw everything from across the wall, came down running with the cotton ( Thank God, I live in India!). Once I pressed cotton on Venky's forehead, the blood stopped in sometime. I also saw a deep long cut. Venky had tripped while playing and hit his head on an edge. Our neighbors adviced me to see a doctor. Now that the blood had stopped I regained my composture. Venky had stooped crying too.

Our neighbors are a big joint Telugu family and one of the DILs (Shobha - Thank you so much), took out her car and offered me to drive to the nearest Apollo clinic. While on the way, I called up my driver and asked him to come back and bring the car to the clinic.

At the clinic, the doctor did the first aid and advised me to visit the main hospital as the cut would probably need stiching and it required an expert. Meanwhile my driver had arrived with car. I thanked Shobha for her help and proceeded to the main Apollo hospital.

I was more calm and could think better now. I remembered that one of my bachelor cousins lived close by. I called him and picked him up on way to help me out at the hospital (Thank God again that I live in India!). We went straight to the emergency section at the hospital where they saw the wound and called their plastic surgeon for an opinion.

We waited and waited for the next 2 hours. Venky started coming back to spirits and started demanding a "banana". The doctors had advised us not to feed him anything as he would be administered anesthesia for the stiches and he had to be empty stomach for that.

My cousin did all the running around to get the hospital formalities processed while I stayed with Venky. Venky cooperated will all the medical procedures (Oh! my rock star!) and was back to his chirpy self. Finally, finally the doctor arrived. One look at the cut and he says - "Oh! its close to the hairline, we'll just glue it up."

He then gave me further explanation - "The scar will be covered by the hair. To stitch, we'll have to administer general anesthesia to such a little boy. Its not worth it. He'll have a masculine scar to show off, its all right! :-)"

I was sooo relieved. All this talk of taking him to OT and anesthesia was really making me nervous. I quickly agreed. My cousin got the glue. The doctor applied it and we were done!

On the way back Venky (and the two of us) had his banana. We came home, had a huge lunch, after which my cousin left. Both Venky and I crashed soon after that slept for 3 hours.

In the evening Venky was back to his normal self. Back in spirits, back in energy. Everytime, I asked him if the cut was paining, he replied with a big "NO".

So, that was the story of how Venky got his first scar. I have 3 such scars (knee, elbow, other  side of palm) and I have broken my shoulder twice. Vibhu does not have any. Probably that is why Venky to chose to fall when his dad wasn't around. Sigh! It all comes back to you in this life and for once, I am desparately wishing that Venky does not take after me.

Its tough to match up

to the next generation. Only 2 years into the world and Venky is already teaching me that. And he is making me feel really dumb. Alright Mr. Darwin. You win. Evolution wins. GenX is smarter. Almost always.

We went grocery shopping with Venky. One of those Relaince fresh kind of stores. You know how they are. Hardly any spces between the aisles. Lots of people. Overflowing stock of goods.

Venky decided he was not going to behave himself. And while we were standing in long long queue waiting to check out, he kept picking up stuff and pushing stuff off the shelves. Finally Vibhu had to take him out and I had to wait alone to pay up.

Next stop was the Fruit/Veggie shop. We decided to teach Venky a lesson. So, only Vibhu got off the car while Venky and I stayed inside. Venky was told he cannot go to the shop as he does not behave himself. Now, Venky does not like not being taken to the shops so he cried. Softly and loudly. Pleaded I'll-behave-myself-I-promise.

Once Venky realised that there was no go, he sat quietly. I felt quite sorry for him as he watched his dad pick up the veggies from a distance with longing. However, I was determined to finish the punishment. Moments passed. Vibhu was in the check out queue now.

Venky - "I want to pee"

I - "After a while. Let papa come."

Venky - "I want to pee now."

I - "Can you not hold on for sometime?"

Venky did not answer and I thought it was not urgent enough and decided to ignore his request. But after 2 minutes he made the request to pee again. This time around I felt it was urgent.

I went in and took Vibhu's place in the check out queue and sent him to help Venky. Soon, they were back in the shop. Venky jumped around excitedly and Vibhu reported that Venky hardly pee-ed a few drops. Threre was no urgency and we had been fooled into taking him out of the car. Venky made a request that he knew would not be denied.

I am dreading teenage already.

Our 911

The area around Venky's school is a mess. The drains are being laid and the road is under repair. Everyday we have to discover a new bylane to reach there. A few days ago, when Vibhu was driving to pick Venky up from the school, he tried to be adventurous and lo! his car was stuck in loose gravel that was laid down for the road repair. The more Vibhu accelerated the car, the more the wheels sank into the gravel. Soon, it was clear that there was no easy way to get the car out. Classic case of "stuck - in - nowhere - call - 911".


Only in India there's no "nowhere". Even before Vibhu could get out of the car, there were 20 odd people around him. Giving suggestions, pushing the car, digging the wheels out the gravel, some even brought tools to help push the car out. After 45 minutes of everybody's effort, the car was on its way. Most of the people vanished as soon as the car was out and even before Vibhu could thank them. Others just happily accepted whatever little money Vibhu offered them. Venky, Vibhu and the car reached home safe and sound.

We live in a country of 1 billion people. Our people are our 911.


P.S - Venky loved all the commotion and was super excited. He's desparately waiting for the car to get stuck again.

Leading Questions

We usually drop Venky to his pre school on our way to office. One of us picks him up at 12.00 pm and drops him back home. His nanny takes care of him till we come back from office. When I/Vibhu are dropping Venky back, he is keen on keeping that parent with him at home. We usually tell him that the other parent is in office and needs to be picked up. This convinces him and he lets us go without a fuss.

One day, only Vibhu dropped Venky to school and I went a little late to office by the other car. Vibhu was the one who picked him up too. This is how the conversation went

Venky - "Has mommy gone to the office?"
Vibhu - "Yes"
Venky - "How did she go to the office?" (Since I did not accompany them in the morning)
Vibhu - "I came back and picked her up." (Vibhu had sensed the purpose behind this question)

Venky switches to other topics and they arrive home. Venky notices that the other car is not there.
Venky - "Where is the other car?"
Vibhu (in his gullible self) - "Mommy has taken it to the office."
Venky - "So she can come back herself!!! You can stay with me!!! :) "

We get a lot of such questions now - which have "purpose" behind them. Its becoming more and more difficult to bluff him and we are becoming easy targets :(

Bihari Babu, English Mem

Venky and our little next door neighbor Keya, meet after a long time (first Keya went on a long vacation to USA and then we did to Ranchi). They jump around excitedly visibly happy to see each other. I try to make conversation with Keya and ask  her "Where's your Baba Keya?"
Keya chooses to answer to Venky. She goes to him and says in a very accented English - "My Baba has gone to U.S". (Oh, I wish I could let you hear the accent. It was so cute!!).
My son, amused at her new found language skills laughs out loud and replies - "Humka Papa office gayen hain!"

Sigh. The way those  two sentences were spoken was a delight to hear. The post misses the impact. :(

Back

And the two weeks flew by. Came back to office with a pile of workload and a bad habit of napping in the afternoon. I am sitting in the office craving for a bed right now.

I had really forgotten what a big festival Durga puja is in Bihar. With "pandals" at every half a kilometer, conitunous bhajans on loudspeakers, decorative lights on virtually all streets and food stalls on side walks, 80%+20% discounts and crowd, crowd, crowd everywhere. Its been over a decade since I witnessed such festivity and how I loved it! I also took Rikshaw rides after ages. And the best thing about visiting sasuraal is that hubby and I can sneak out shopping and visiting relatives, leaving Venky with his grandparents. Heh heh.

Venky knows the story of Durgaji and Mahishasur now and listens to it during every meal. Sometimes we have to play act with either me or his dad playing the Mahishasur, the other playing Durgaji and Venky playing Durgaji's Lion.

Venky made friends with all the new faces, learnt to do "pranam" as against "hi" and returned with lots of new clothes. We were worried that he will refuse to go to the school after such a long vacation, but my smart kid happily waved goodbye.

I better get back to work now. How have you guys been?

An obidient kid

is the one who stops bouncing the ball off the neighbor's car when told "Uncle gussa karenge".
A smart kid is the one who then walks off to his mom's car and starts bouncing the ball off it.

That's a 2.5 year old outsmarting me. Folks, this blog is on a 2 week break as we are on vacation. But before I leave, I have to complete this tag by Trish. You know what, this is the first time someone has really tagged me and am so excited about doing it. Here I go ...

The first alphabet of my son's name is 'V' - God! this is going to be a tough one

1. What is your(child’s) name: Venkatesh
2. A four Letter Word: Very  (this is all I could think of)
3. A boy’s Name: Varun
4. A girl’s Name: Vishakha
5. An occupation: Vet  (as in the doc for animals)
6. A color: Violet
7. Something you wear: Vest
8. A food: Veg Noodles (or any thing veg :p)
9. Something found in the bathroom: Vivel soap. (Really can't think of a common noun)
10. A place: Venice. I've taken THE romantic canal ride there. Long before Venky was born
11. A reason for being late: Very sick :p
12. Something you shout: VENKYYYYYYY STOP.
13. A movie title: Vaastav (this was some stupid Sanjay Dutt movie)
14. Something you drink: Vodka (I don't drink it though).
15. A musical group: Viva. I think these girls had won the Channel V competition and formed a rock band for some time
16. An animal: Vulture. Okey, that's a bird but belongs to the animal kingdom.
17. A Street name: Visp  (I think its one of streets in switzerland Valais region)
18. A type of car: Volvo . Okey that's a bus. But its really getting tough to think stuff starting with V
19. A song title: Vada raha sanam ....
20. A verb: Vent

Phew. This was not easy.

I'll tag Bubble's Mom. Anybody else who wants to do it?

Quote Unquote

I am pretending to cry while playing with Venky. Venky hugs me and says
"Mommy mat ro. Main hoon na!"

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Venky is jumping on Vibhu's belly.
Vibhu - "SSsss. Bachaooooo."

Venky keeps jumping
Vibhu - "Ssssss. Pleeease stop him. I am going to break into two."

Venky continues.
Vibhu - "Sssss. Tumko ek pati chahiye ya do?"
Venky - "Mujhe Gan-pati chahiye!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Venky is upset with Vibhu and is shouting at him
Venky - "Tumko bahar bhi jaane nahi milega. Park bhi jaane nahi milega. Sand mein khelne bhi nahi milega. Mommy se pyar bhi karne nahi milega!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I - "Venky, I am going to get ready. You wait here."
Venky - "Lipstick lagane ja rahi ho?"

School school

As a kid I envied all the adults. They did not get homeworks. Their work was over as soon as they left office. While we, the kids had to spend the evenings and most of the weekend doing homeworks.

But the ordeal is far from over.

This is what Venky's diary read on Friday, 14th of Aug

" 15th August is our independence day and we have been trying to teach its significance to Venkatesh. Please make sure you show him the flag hoisting and the independence day parade to Venkatesh and send us 3 pictures of him pariticipating in the independence day clelebrations. We will use the pictures for a show and tell session with all the children. Please make sure that the pictures reach us by Monday."

"What the ...... DAMN!" These were exactly my thoughts when I read the note. This was a rather difficult assignment.

First, 15th Aug was a Saturday. That's supposed to be my wake-up-when-I-feel-like day. Since most of the flag hoistings happen by 8 am, that means not only I have to wake up early, I have to wake up EARLIER that I do on weekdays. Isn't it torture to make my sleep deprived self do that?

Second, show him the parade!!!! Where ? WHERE? TV is banned by the school (Yes, we watch TV only when Venky is sleeping). There are no parade's happening anywhere within the 10 km radius of my house. So, exactly where?

Third, the pics have to be sent on monday. Helloooo??? Saturday was 15th Aug so most of the shops would be closed. And sunday being sunday, most of the shops would be closed. So how do we get the prints in time?

Shucks! My worst school teacher was more considerate than this.

We toyed with the idea of NOT doing the homework. Then gave it up. I wouldn't be able to stand you-didn't-do-the-homework looks and polite inquiries from Venky's teacher and more importantly, we couldn't have let Venky feel left out in the show and tell session they were having.

So we woke up early on the Saturday, found an intitution where flag hoisting and parade was being done. Tooks digital pics. Seleted the best 3. Then ran around for rest 1.5 days to find an open studio which would do the digital printing. By Sunday evening, we had our copies and Venky took them proudly to the school on Monday.

The pics came out rather well. Here's one for you to see

Okey, I admit I am showing off. But the homework was hard work.

Its a GUY thing

Moms teach their sons how to brush their teeth
Moms teach their sons how to put on their shoes
Moms teach their sons to put away the toys after the play is done
Moms teach their sons A,B,C,D and 1, 2, 3, 4 ....

You obviously got who's the mom here.

Dads teach their sons how to pee without touching ANYTHING (yup, including the organ involved) in the loo and to hold your body in a strange convex position such that the stream still falls where it is supposed to.

Yes, you read it right.

Venky demonstrated it first and then declared "Papa has taught me!" with a proud smile.

And while I was wondering in shock ..."But WHY???" Venky made another declaration - "I won't need to wash my hands now."

It IS a guy thing.

ETA - Vibhu could not understand what was funny about this. He went on to say "Only women can find this amusing ...". IT IS A GUYS THING

What does it take to love ...

We have often heard about "Ma ki mamta" - A mother's love is unquestioned and unchallenged in our society. It is supposed to be the epitome of affection. But now I find myself questioning it. Again. Every time I challenge Venky, he proves he loves me more than I can ever love him. He always puts me before himself. And he did it yet again.

Last Saturday, Vibhu had to pick up something from the office. He decided to take Venky along as he loves going to our office and running around the water fountain there. Once Venky was informed that he was being taken to the office, he got really excited. He hurried up with his bath and finished his breakfast quickly. He jumped around the whole house waiting excitedly for his dad.

Just as they were ready to leave, I decided to pull Venky's leg. Venky always cries when we leave for office. That day, I was being left behind, so I did a Venky. I held him and asked him not to leave me and go. Venky said - "We'll go and come back very quickly mommy." This switch of roles had become interesting. I persisted - "Please Venky.. don't go". Venky did all the hugging and kissing he could do and kept assuring me that he'll come back soon.

Finally his dad called him to go. As Venky took unsure steps toward the car, I pretended to cry. Venky looked at his dad for help - "Mommy is crying."

Dad asked - "So, what should we do now?"

After a pause Venky said - "I'll not go."

Dad - "Should I go alone?"

Venky - "Yes. Come back quickly."

I cannot imagine the amount of self restraint it would have taken him to say that. A 2 yr old gave up something he wanted to do so much because I was crying. I felt so humbled and was ready to cry for real now. But I smiled and said it was okey for him to go.

Venky ran off happily with is dad and had a blast in the office, but as soon as Vibhu reminded him that I was alone at home waiting for him, he was ready to return. And ofcourse he did not forget to check on me once he was back home. :)

My son, if you retain half the will power you have right now, you'll grow up to be a fine man.

Supermom - Who, me?

Well, I definately felt like one.

Vibhu was abroad for two weeks and for once, I had Venky all by myself. No parents, no ILs. Venky had been going to the pre schools for 2 weeks and was not fully settled.

Needless to say, life was on the run. This was my schedule
6.30 am - Wake up. Get ready. You have exactly 30 minutes to yourself
7.00 am - Gently start waking Venky up. DON'T get him in a fowl mood.
8.00 am - Brush and bath done (hopefully). Start his breakfast session (depending on his mood, this can take from 15 mins to 1 hour)
8.45 am - Start for school (dump the unfinished breakfast)
9.00 am - Drop Venky at the school and proceed for office

11.15 am - Drop what you are doing in office and start for Venky's school.
11.30 am - Pick up Venky. He wants to go home by auto rickshaw, but I have a car. Pacify him for 5-1o mins to get into the car.
11.xx am - Reach home. Venky doesn't want to go home now. Spend another 5-10 mins to take him out of the car. Then try to leave for office while he clings to me and the maid tries to pacify him.

5 pm - Hit the Gym! Yes, I didn't drop it! Am so proud of my self. :)
6 pm - At home. Take Venky to the park. Play football with him (he has an amazing kick for his age, I think I should relocate to europe so that he can build a career out of it)
8 pm - Start the dinner session. Can take upto 1 hour again.
9 pm - On bed. Story telling .. and dozing off around 10 pm

Vibhu is now back and is thoroughly impressed with me. So are his parents. It definately feels like an achievement and I soo want to congratulate myself. But then I read Sarikh's posts and well.... the halo vanishes. After all, I have just one kid AND a domestic help.

Sigh! I have a long way to go! :(

The moment of truth

Venky and I are putting away the Lego pieces back in its box. Once its done, I pick up the box to keep it at its designated place. Venky shows concern

Venky - "Bhaari hai kya?" (Is it heavy?)

I - "Yes"

Venky - "Mommy nahi utha pa rahi hai?" (Mom is not able to lift it up?)

I (a little amused) - "Yes"

Venky - "Mommy buddhi ho gayi hai?" (Mom has grown old?)

I - "!#$%^&"

Sigh!

ETA - I was wondering how a 2 yr old managed to make that deduction. Apparently, his grandmom has taught him this logic. :)

My first tag (a stolen one)

Nobody tagged me, I picked this up from PS cause I really wanted to do this tag. Sigh! I am an obsessed mother after all. So, here are 5 reasons why I love being a mom

1. When I come back from work, Venky is so excited to see me. He runs to me and hugs me tight. I don't think I can remember anybody else being so happy to see me ever. With Venky, it is everyday!

2. Motherhood has made me an emotional and sensitive person. People who know me from my "young" days remember me as an unemotional, pragmatic, self centered person. I have cried more number of times after becoming a mother than I did ever before.

3. Life is never boring now. There is always something to do, to take care of. With Venky around we are never short on laughs - he keeps doing / saying these adorable, cute, funny things all the time

4.On weekends, Venky wakes up first. I get to open my eyes to his soft sound and smiling face. He crawls into my arms and blissfully sucks his thumb for sometime. Oh, I love lazing on a weekend morning with a cuddly baby. It just makes the whole weekend perfect

5. I have made a new circle of friends. I was (am) such an introvert and asocial person. I really find it hard to make conversations to unknown people. With Venky's arrival, my social circle has exploded. Now I easily talk to other parents and get invited to their kids' birthdays.

Damn! 5 points are over already. But you know, I could go on and on and on.... :)

Pre school - Day 1

I was nervous like hell. It was like going for a maths exam (Okey, not maths because I was good at it, but lets say... sanskrit exam or whichever subject you feared the most).

Challenge # 1 - Getting Venky (and ourselves) ready on time. I had to make sure that we get up at 7am to ensure that Venky reaches school by 9 am. That is quite a bit of an effort for one who not seen the 7 am sky for lets say.. a decade? Needless to say, I slept badly because of the tension. And woke up at 6 am. Tossed and turned till 7 am and then finally got up.

While I got ready, Vibhu handled waking up Venky. Venky wanted to sleep more and was terribly upset with Vibhu for forcing him out of the bed. His dada, dadi came to the rescue. By the time I dressed up he was in a good mood ( he was told that he will go to "school" and that excited him - isn't that a blessing!). So brush, shower and breakfast later (which went fairly smoothly and on schedule), the whole family was ready by 8.30 to take him to the school. Yeah, 4 adults (Vibhu, MIL, FIL & me) were to drop him to the school. I remember getting such a grand see off when I first went to the US. From the next time on, I called the cab. Sorry, I am digressing. So, we ALL got ready and left for Venky's school well in time.

Challenge # 2 - Waving goodbye. No matter how much we prepare Venky for our departure to the office, he always does a flip flop at the last moment. Although Venky's grandparents were to accompany him, I was wary about his reaction on seeing us leave. I tried to prep him by talking to him about it on our way to his school.. and lo, we were there! Venky hopped off excited (his 3 pre school visits had made him somewhat comfortable with its enviornment), and headed straight for the "jhoola". Dada, dadi followed him. We called him and waved bye. Yeah, today's child psychology - "inform" the child of your departure. I guess this days parents are the one who are made to follow the rules! I almost thought Venky'll will come back running and crying. But lo and behold, he waved goodbye. Traitor! Girgit! Dal Badloo! "Jaldi aana", he said. Hmmm.. okey, that'll unbreak my heart.

Challenge # 3 - Stay in school for 1.5 hours. Now, we were in office and Venky was in the school along with his grandparents. Grandparents were supposed to stay out of sight as long as possible and the teacher was supposed to handle him. At 9.15 am Vibhu pinged me on IM.

V [9:15 AM]:
my phone is in the car
call papa once

SS [9:15 AM]:
:)
arre rahne do na
itni jaldi kyon call karna hai?

V [9:16 AM]:
to find out if they are watching him on CCTV

SS[9:16 AM]:
we'll call at 10.30

tum toh Venky se jayada pareshan ho

its ok. Let them be
we'll call at 10.30 and then find out

V [9:16 AM]:

:(
ok

Dads these days I tell you! They've started behaving like mothers. And they've confused the moms which way to behave! So, I got back to work and then I got another IM at 10.38 am

V [10:38 AM]:
did you check?

SS [10:38 AM]:
what?

V [10:38 AM]:

on Venky?

I called my FIL now and found out how Venky behaved. Ofcourse I reported it back to Vibhu immideately. I wanted him to concentrate on work and not get fired during this recession. So,

this is how it went...

SS [10:45 AM]:
it went off very well
other kids were crying
he was not

V [10:46 AM]:
good

SS [10:46 AM]:
mostly he was on his own
he asked for his tiffin and ate

V [10:46 AM]:
they did not call papa(my FIL)?

SS [10:46 AM]:
all parents were just around
so they (my parents in law) were sitting in the office
but Venky came to them only once
and then kept himself busy
thoda classroom ke andar
and thoda bahar

V[10:47 AM]:
cool

SS [10:47 AM]:
some kids were just not leaving their parents

V [10:47 AM]:
hmmm

SS [10:48 AM]:
I talked to him (Venky)
he said ki maza aaya
and he is ready to go tomorrow again
so far so good :)

V [10:48 AM]:
awesome

SS [10:49 AM]:
I told you ki my son is a rock star :)

V [10:49 AM]:
hee hee

SS [10:49 AM]:
but you are one worried parent :p

V [10:49 AM]:
ok ok :p
bye

SS[10:49 AM]:
chalo bye obsessed daddy
think about work now :p

Hence proved - Venky is a rock star, Vibhu is an obessed dad and I am a happy mom!

Rules are for everyone

Venky is jumping on the dining table

I - "Venky, neeche utro! Gir jaoge." (Venky, climb down! You'll fall)

Venky keeps jumping

Vibhu - "Venky, gir jaoge beta" (Venky, you'll fall son)

Venky gets more excited and keeps jumping

FIL - " Venky is a bad boy. Gir jaoge, neeche utro"

MIL says something too (to the same effect). Venky ignores everyone, gets excited at the attention and keeps jumping. Finally, after several threats, reprimands and requests we have to force him down from the dining table.

Venky gets upset with us for spoiling his fun and sits in my lap sucking his thumb.

I - "Vibhu, please put the blinds down."

These blinds are accessible only from the dining table. So, Vibhu climbs the table to pull the blinds down.



Venky - "Papaaaaaa. NEECHE UTRO. GIR JAAOGE."

:D :D :D

Lately, we've had quite a few of those coming our way!

From a material mom's heart

The 3 week vacation in Switzerland did wonders. It was truly a bonding time - for Venky, us, and his dada, dadi. We have surely returned as a much happier family. It taught us that love and nuturing can really do wonders to a child. Venky had become such a good kid! No fuss over food. Taking all instructions. Listening to us and giving us his little hugs and kisses. He sat through the 8 hour flight without any tantrums. Everybody, from flight attendants to co passengers were all praises for him. I was such a proud mom :)


And a very guilty one too. Just being in our constant company made him behave so well. Just before we left for vacation he was so difficult with food and such a stubborn kid. I have to believe that the change in his behaviour was due to all the love and attention he was getting from us and his grandparents. We are now back in office and soon his grandparents will leave too :-( I wonder if that will change his personality in a negetive direction again. The mom in me wants to quit her job and stay home with him ... the woman in me does not. So, the quintessential conflict continues ....






Venky starts his pre school now. 9 am - 12 pm. With that and the afternoon nap, I believe (or should I say, I want to believe) that he will not spend too much time at home without us. I desparately want Venky to enjoy his school. That will take some guilt off me. But if he regresses, I guess I should be ready to make some hard decisions.

Venky has grown up (?)

Now a days we like to prepare Venky a little for our impending departure to office. Soon after he wakes up, we tell him that we have to go to the office. He ususally says "No, Please don't go.." and we have to keep pacifying him till we leave. However, this ensures that he knows that we have gone to the office and will come back in the evening.

Today morning it took an interesting turn (As narrated by Vibhu)

When Vibhu told Venky that we have to go to office today, Venky said that he wants to come to the office too. To which Vibhu said "Venky will go to office when he grows up". After some more discussion on that, the conversation ended.

After a while, Venky said that he wants to pee. Venky is undergoing potty training so Vibhu told him to go to the bathroom and pee. Venky said that he wants to pee in his diapers. Vibhu replied "You have grown up now, go to the bathroom and pee". Venky was ready with the retort - "Venky is a big boy, he'll go the office!" and he happily ran to the bathroom without waiting a second. :)

10 Seconds of paradise

It lasted only 10 seconds, but it will easily classify as the most wonderful moment of my life. Vibhu had taken off since he was not too well and stayed home with Venky. I came home at little later than usual and was informed by the nanny that both father and son were oversleeping their afternoon nap. I tried to quitely tiptoe into their room, but Venky woke up. He took a huge 'angdayee', flashed his widest smile and threw his arms wide open. As I went into his little arms, he kissed me and said "I love you". Such a dream come true! Now I know why everyone has kids! I just wanted to hold him and stay like that, but Venky was soon restless and wriggled out of my hold.

I was smiling all through the evening. Vibhu was having a tough time handling his envy. "This is not fair", he kept saying, "I was the one who stayed home with him".

As goes the old adage... Everything is fair in love and war :)

Bihar Calls

We recently visited Didi in Delhi. That was quite a bit of culture change for Venky. For one, eveybody could understand what he speaks (his prime language of communication is Hindi). Plus a whole bunch of cousin sisters doted on him and gave him so much of attention. Venky was totally loving it. Till his sisters decided to take him to the apartment's park.

Venky found a slide and captured it. After a few minutes of play on the slide, he had company. Another kid who was twice his size and age and twice as fast joined him. Even before Venky could complete one trip, he finished two trips for the slide. Venky's ego was hurt and he decided that he could definately not let him do a 3rd round before him.

So, he pushed him (before we could react) and said "Mujhe jana hai!". The kid's nanny held him back and let Venky complete his round. But now, Venky was not ready to relent at all. He just wouldn't let that kid use the slide and was constantly trying to push him. After a while, the older kid stopped pretending to be mature and pushed him back.

That was quite a fall, and we thought that Venky will be wailing. But even before we picked him up, Venky was on his feet and pushed the older kid again. All this, without a frown on his face. Now, all the elders intervened and separated the kids. The older kid's nanny took him to another swing which he got interested into and we took Venky to the nearby temple.

Well, Vibhu was proud of his son's bravery (the fact that he took on an older kid and wasn't scared of him) and couldn't help hiding his joy. He was thrilled at the fact that his son was a true blue "Bihari" and not a "Murgi". I have to confess that I was grinning too :D

The Pampered Parent

Yesterday, as we were preparing for bed, I slipped and fell. I had a laptop in one hand. So, intinctively I tried to save it, so I landed flat on my back. While I was gathering my senses, Vibhu shouted and asked if I was alright. Venky, who was playing nearby, also ran to me. I lay still for sometime to figure out if I was hurt and decided that everything was ok.

By the time I sat up, Venky had pulled a long face and was about to cry. He immideately pulled me into a tight hug. He looked very upset and on the verge of tears. I had to reassure him for a long time that I was fine. He just clung to me all the while.

Later in the bed, Venky put the pillow on his lap and asked me to sleep there. He then stroked my hair and cheeks as if patting me to sleep. He had noticed Vibhu checking my back to see if I was bruised. Venky checked my back too as asked "yahan pe chot laga (are you hurt here) ?". When I said "yes", he rubbed it and blew on it. Then he insisted on giving me gripe water and made me have some :D

Needless to say, I was enjoying all the attention. I have to confess that I pretended to be more hurt and bruised than I was (actually I was not hurt at all). After giving me the gripe water, Venky asked "theek ho gaya (is it alright now)?". I answered in affirmative but I guess Venky was not too convinced. To pep me up he said "Tum sundar ladki ho (you are beautiful), I love you." Whoever taught him that!!! Venky is still 1 month away from being 2 and most of the kids are not even able to frame sentences by this age. Such lovely sentences coming from him! I was ecstatic.

Venky followed it up by telling me the stories that I tell him in broken sentences. In fact I fell asleep before he did. Yesterday, I was a thoroughly pampered parent. I wouldn't mind a few such falls every now and then! :-)

Lessons in Love

This incident happened almost a month ago. It keeps coming back to me and I think I'll always remember it. Nevertheless, I still want to jot it down.

At 11 pm , we are the most sleepy and Venky is the most playful. Probably because that is his most exclusive time with us and we are shower him with all our attention to get him to sleep. After playing, reading and cajoling him, I often have to put on my "strict parent" demeanor to put him to sleep.

That day was no different. Venky was in an extra playful mood and did not take my strictness to well. He threw a tantrum. Venky often uses his head as a weapon, and just bangs it on when he is angry. So, there came his head right on my cheekbone.

The sharp pain made me bury my head in the pillows. It actually took me a while to gather my senses. I could hear Venky beside me saying "mommy chot" (meaning mommy is hurt). Venky was able to realize that he had caused the damage and was trying to lift my head from the pillow.

I was too hurt and angry for his cuteness to pacify me and I pushed him back asking him to get lost. Now, Venky was howling with tears in full flow. Vibhu tried to console him but he would not stay with him. He kept coming back to me saying "mommy, mommy" and crying.

Vibhu urged me to pick him up and I reluctantly did that, still upset with him. That is when I noticed that there was a bump on his forehead. He was hurt too! Venky finally stopped crying in my lap and went off to sleep.

Later, when I discussed the bump with Vibhu, he told me that Venky had not bothered about his own pain at all. When both of us were hurt, Venky was only touching his forehead and trying to lift me up to see if I was alright. Later, when I pushed him away, he was crying because he thought that I was angry with him. Venky kept coming to me till I picked him up.

All this from a 20 mo old toddler. He was more concerned about my pain and anger when he was hurt himself. How does that make me feel? - Extremely guilty and humbled. As we grow up we unlearn to love others. We just start loving ourselves. How can I stop Venky from doing that? I guess first I'll have to learn from him and then teach him back.

For now, I'll just thank Venky for loving me more than I love him. Its hard to accept, but that's a fact.





This blog post is an entry for IndusLadies mother's day blog contest

Conversations with a 21 old

Venky - "mommy"
I - "Yes..."

Venky - "MOMMY"
I - "Yes Venky"

Venky - "MOMMEEE"
I - "Yes Sweetheart"

Venky - "I Lob you"

:):):)

Outsmarted by 21 mo old

Venky and I are reading a picture book.

I - "Yeh kya hai?"
Venky - "Butterfly"
I - "Yeh kya hai?"
Venky - "Dragon Fly"

Now we reach the "Beetle" page which Venky has never remembered so far

I - "Yeh kya hai?"
Venky - "Uhmmmm ....Book!" :D

The goodbyes are back

Even since the separation anxiety struck (almost an year now), Venky hated us leave for office. As he grew older it was got more difficult to distract him. For the past couple of months, he would not let us out of his sight once we left the bed. Even after his nanny managed to pacify him into some play, he would immideately know when our car unlocked. Many times, I had to leave him wailing to the office.

Over the last week I noticed, he did not seem as anxious in the mornings. He did not run behind me when I got up to leave. In fact most of the times, he would be busy in his play as I quietly slipped out.

And today, there was a miracle. Venky figured that I was leaving for office. He said - "Teen Chocote lana, Banana lana, Apple lana" (Get me 3 choclates, banana and apple). Then he waved bye! As I reversed the car, he kept waving bye and even crouched to get a better view of me as I waved back. All this, with a smile on his face!

Needless to say, I grinned all the way to office:)

Terrible Two at One and a half.

1. Vibhu comes home from office. Venky runs to him and throws himself in Vibhu's hands. And before Vibhu can realize, Venky pulls his glass and throws it on the ground (Thanks to the plastic lenses they are still surviving ater 50 such falls)

2. Venky aims all his balls at our TV screen

3. Venky always throws our cell phones such that they open up in 3 or more pieces (he has a toy cell phone which is a great imitation of the real one but never throws that)

4. Venky says - "X" Chahiye. (X is more often chocolate). I say - No. Venky falls flat on ground. Bangs his fist followed by his head. He throws everything that he can lay his hands on.

5. If I raise my voice at him by x decibel, Venky starts crying with 10x decibels and then I have to spend half an hour to pamper him back into the mood.

6. Venky picks up all the drying clothes from the clothes line and puts them into the flower bed.

7. Whenever Venky spots an open bathroom, he goes in and opens the tap. While I am closing that tap, he runs to the other bathroom and opens the tap there.

8. Venky pushes his toy bucket such that it falls and all the toys are scattered on the floor. Then he goes off to ride his bike

9. Venky pulls out bed sheets as soon as I tuck them in

10. Venky's favorite TV programme is "Air Crash Investigations" and his bed time story is "Aeroplane toot gaya - sea mein gir gaya" ( BTW, I am the one who is on the aeroplane in that story).

Phew!!! I want to excahnge. Anyone?