Chuha Billi ki kahani

Vibhu - "Venky, billi ko english mein kya bolte hai?"
Venky - "TOM".

No points for guessing what is chuha called in english.

The Realization of SELF

I have heard that babies initially think that they are just an extension of their parents. Mother mostly. As they grow older they learn that they are independent entities - that is called the "realization of self". It manifests itself in the form of ego.

Venky as a toddler has put me to shame many times through his selfless acts. I have blogged about it here and here. He has taught me the most important lessons of my life. To forgive. To demostrate love. That a hug can take the whole stress away.

Venky is 3 now. He is slowly changing. We can see that he is developing an ego. Its harder for him to say sorry.  If we schold him he sulks and walks away (as against coming and hugging us and saying sorry). Sometimes he shouts back. Its harder to pacify him when he sulks. Hugs and I love yous don't work easily anymore.

Today Venky was throwing a tantrum after bath. I asked him why he was angry. He said "Because papa is angry. I will not get ready till he remains upset." I told him that it was not the way to pacify someone who was angry and that he should go and hug papa and say sorry. Venky did go and hug Vibhu after that but did not say sorry.

Sigh. I have teach him now what he taught me. That love and affection should be prioritized above ego. That forgiving and letting go  makes a person happier than holding grudges. Its going to be a tough task ( aren't men all about their egos?). Hopefully he'll be able to learn some of the values that he demontrated in his toddler avataar from me.  That is, till his own toddler teaches him those!

Tunmun

Tunmun takes after her dad. She is a sleepyhead. Anytime, anywhere - bam! They can sleep. When she is not sleeping, she is feeding. Its amazing that genes show up at such an young age ;-)

Jokes apart, fatherhood for Vibhu is incredibly easy this time around. I had an easy pregnancy. The delivery was normal too and Vibhu was not a bundle of nerves like last time. In fact he was totally chilled. We already had all the baby supplies from Venky's time. So, no running around either. And oh! she's letting us sleep!! Venky was such a horrible sleeper that Vibhu wanted to stick to having a single child. Oh, God! I realize that I am alredy comparing my two kids!!!

Motherhood is a lot easier too. I guess right expectations and experience helps. And like I said, she's letting us sleep (BIG KALA TIKA). Post natal recovery has been great. Vibhu was so impressed with my high spirits that he gave me a surprise gift. A diamond ring!! :-)

Venky is being extremely cooperative. It's great to see his natural affection for his sibling. He comes in an coos "Hi chotu baby", "Hi choti behna" once in a while in the midst of his play and gently strokes her hair and/or kisses her feet (we've told him that small babies can be kissed only on the feet).

The other day, some of our friends came over to see the baby. Their son who is Venky's age, touched Tunmun's cheeks. Venky was quick to tell him - "Don't disturb her, she is sleeping". Big bro keeping bad guys away from little sister!! She'll have a hard time as a teenager :-)

First Reactions

May 23, 2010. I am in labor. Everyone is in the hospital. Venky is at home with the nanny.

12.18 pm. The little one arrives. Grandpa calls up at home to let Venky know.

Grandpa - "Venky, you have a little sister!"

Venky - "Haila! Now who will play cricket with me!?!"

Venky later asked me when his brother was going to come. Fresh from the memory of labor I folded my hands and asked him to spare me.

The empty nest syndrome

Although it's a little early for the syndrome to hit us, we had a taste of it last night. We have been asking Venky to sleep with his grandparents for sometime now so that when the new baby arrives, he does not get disturbed at nights. Venky has been resisting it all this while.

After the arrival of his grandparents during this summer vacation, Venky is slowly warming up to the idea (thanks to the treats being promised to him if he does so). For the last one week, Venky has been promising his grandparents that he will sleep with them, but he does a flip flop once its bed time and sleeps with us. Yesterday, he took it one step further and said that he will finish his milk and story telling session with us and then join his grandparents to sleep with them. Well... we had no hopes that he will keep his promise.

So, Venky finished his milk as I read out two books to him and while I was on the third. He promptly snatched the book from my hands and kept it back - "We will finish the story tomorrow. Dadu is waiting for me!"

We were taken aback. One, he never lets a story go unfinished and two, he was actually going over to sleep with Dadu and Dadi. Before we could recover, Venky had already run away to their room. When I got up to switch the lights off, Vibhu said - "Don't lock the door. Venky will return soon." I too, had no doubts that he will.

We waited and waited and waited. No sign of Venky. Vibhu said - "I do not like sleeping without him." I  gave him a lecture on being pragmatic and "letting go!", but I was feeling pretty much the same - almost like being betrayed. How could he not come back?!

I wondered if we were going to turn into nagging, possesive, interfering parents once he grows up, who go into depression once their kids leave home (empty nest syndrome). Once again it made me glad that we decided to have another baby. Hopefully, it will take the attention off Venky and give him some breathing space.

An hour later, Vibhu was asleep and I was about to doze off when the bedroom door opened with a bang and Venky walked in. He climbed up onto our bed and snuggled into my arms. What a lovely feeling it was! "Why did you come back Venky?" I asked.
"I did not like it without you.", he replied.

Vibhu woke up too. The way they hugged and cuddled, you'd think they've met after years! :-)
Venky then climbed on to his bed and slept and we slept with a smile too. Today is another day and we will try to convince Venky (and ourselves) to sleep with his grandparents again :-)

The beauty or the beast?

No points for guessing what Venky prefers.

Vibhu, MIL and I are discussing  the possible names for the forthcoming baby. Name options for both the boy and the girl are suggested and rejected. No concensus is being reached. Venky is getting impatient, he wants us to read him a story book.

Vibhu to his mom - "Suggest some names of Durga. SS likes Durga"

Venky - "I like Mahishasur!"

If only he could name his sibling! :)


ETA 
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FYI fellow mommy bloggers-  Indusladies is coming up with an ebook with a listing of all the mommy blogs on the event of mother's day.

3 years

And where did they go? Three years ago, at this time I was such an overwhelmed mommy. Two hour feed cycle, nappy changing,  the burp sessions -how badly I wanted to run away. But before I could make up my mind on that, you grew up!

And now you little man, you are even helping me around the house. You willingly carry the load for me - to the washing machine, out of the car, up the stairs. Most of the times the load seems a bit much for your size but you do it easily. And your dad tells me  "he's a boy!"

Indeed you are! You play only cricket and football. You know when a ball is a spin or bouncer or wide. You know when you get LBW. You have never been even remotely interested in the soft toys. You started riding a cycle before you were one and broke your first cycle when you were 1.25. From then on, we only got you cycles that were made of steel. 3 years have seen 3 cycles. The latest one being a bicycle which you drive easily.

Its so tough to make you sit. Thankfully, you do like being read stories. So, whenever mommy wants to make you sit, she can read you one. Poor dad cannot even do that. Being with dad for you means jumping all over him. Climbing on him and treating him like a horse. God! Seeing you two play makes me tired!

You are amazingly sharing. And that is something that we have not made any effort to teach you. You are ready to share even the tiniest bit of your choclates. Including your favorite ones. I have already blogged about how you are ready to give away your stuff to your expected sibling.

I can go on and on. How you give a logical answer to every question. How you behave responsibly when you understand the gravity of the situation (like someone is hurt). How tolerant you are and that you have never cried while vaccination or while giving blood samples such that even the doctors are amazed. Even in sickness and pain you cooperate in taking treatment and medicines. You excude independence and pretty much bathe, dress and do your potty yourself. You never like assistance and get annoyed when it is forced upon you.

My baby is growing into a big boy way too fast. Before I became a mother I never wanted to have kids. You showed me a whole new beautiful world. The sheer happiness quotient of my life has increased many folds. The moment I meet you, all my stress is gone! Thanks to all your stories and witty answers I have a hearty laugh multiple times a day. Your dad says I've taken a 180 degrees turn. So much so that I changed my mind about having only one kid and now your sibling is all set to arrive!

Happy 3rd Venkoo. Looking forward to many more happy and fun filled times with you. And don't grow up so fast! :-)